What were you thinking???

wow.. I can't... I mean.. ::head desk::

dress?

I was looking around ASOS curve this evening and I noticed something a bit off..
They keep using the word "dress" when clearly they mean "shirt"
I am all for being comfortable, but these take it a bit too far..

Complaint Department: seatcover edition

This is the post where I talk about my underpants..
If you do not want to know about my bloomers, I suggest you walk on.

the helladays

Happy almost whatever winter holiday..

I really dislike the whole holiday hell that follows thanksgiving Halloween.
I have since I was about 10. Mostly its all the people who normally durring the year when out shopping can be rude but it seems to increase 10x in the winter. Not a fan.
Plus it is almost impossible to avoid christmas music in stores.
I saved myself some shopping pain, and did 99% of my shopping on amazon (with prime).

This year I have also been graced with a magical chest/sinus cold. It's special.
I have cement in my nose and gunk in my chest. A lovely raspy voice and interesting colored mucus.
Yes, I am just bursting at the seams with holiday cheer.

Crap fat clothes.. For fall

:: a note for the "nice police", I get that some people will like some/part/all of the clothing I have chosen to write in a sarcastic manner about. That's fine you can like the clothes. But I don't. I am in no way criticizing you or your fashion choices. I am simply stating my opinion about these items. Don't agree? peachy. don't like this post? Read something from before, or come back for my next one. I will delve deeper into my dislike for what clothing offerings get given to us fat people. And why I write sarcastically about clothing::


When I typed the title for this blog it auto corrected fall to fail.. Seems my internet is starting to think like me!

So this Is going to be a photo heavy post of just a few of the more sad things I have found for fall clothing for fat people.. I didn't have to go far to find sad examples of shit choices.. This isn't even the tip of the iceberg.

Lets start this with a trip to ASOS:
I do like some/most? of their clothing so don't get me wrong. But some of their style choices confuse the crap out of me.
Lets see how far the pendulum swings shall we?

Don't mind me I just have some serious shoulder studs to keep the pigeons off.

And then you get something cute like this dress:

or you get this..

Cause a "cold shoulder plaid shirt dress" is all the rage
I love looking like I fell out of bed in the morning, after being ravaged by wolves..

Anyone else feel like we are in high school gym class??
Class it up with some heels.. who wants to run the mile??

Wow we hit normal, well made and can work on a variety of bodies.. 

Only to fall into the pit of leather sausage casings. 
The elastic back totally sells this look. I love having saggy weird looking butt.

.
 Look Ma! You too cam wear your sweats as overalls! 
The no back pocket thing will make your ass look big and lumpy, and the camel toe will be epic but whatever.. Fatshion!

OOO new this season, after the success of the grey sack, we have the floral option. Still no back pockets, but the new pattern helps mask the camel toe.

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Our next stop takes us to:  Old Navy. Where they have almost completely given up proper sizing, construction, fit, style and fabric choices.

I can't tell who is wearing the potato sack of a dress worse; 

the poor girl in the photo or the headless plastic mannequin?? 

 Look potato sack now comes in a print!

Seriously old navy, step up your game just a little! Great that you carry a variety of sizes (whether intentional or not so) But I would love to see better construction, and less sack. Thanks!

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Ahh our last stop on the snark train is: Horrid Torrid.

hideous lace, or eyelet tap shorts anyone?  Come on you know you want to dress like Nana on her cruise!

How about a matching floral jacket and top? 'Cause nothing is better camouflage, than big floral print on a fat girl.  

It looks like this print is going to be big with the teenage middle management set! "Oh my god; I'm like such an adult!" (this would look smashing with the shorts above)

How about the jacket equivalent of a mullet only reversed? 

Business in the back (tailored, nice clean cut).
Fuckin' Party in the front! Badly cut, no semblance of tailoring, studs/sequins, off center zipper.
looking at this makes me feel like I'm  coming off a black out drunk.

Speaking of blackout drunk;
Whose idea was it to do band shirts for teenagers (of bands they don't listen to?)

I'll give you a maybe, to Sublime. like if their older brother/uncle/aunt is 26-45, then maybe they know who Sublime was. And they have listened to: "You know that one cd with the tattoo on it". 

The Grateful Dead: I have serious doubts about. For the sake of argument, I will also give you a maybe. They might listen to the Dead.  

But Rush?!? Really?? Have you ever seen how empty a women's bathroom is at a Rush concert?? Not to mention the average age of a Rush fan. Do not even try to convince me that the market demographic of Torrid listens to Rush. It just isn't likely at all! 

"Geddy Lee? Who Is she?"  

Yeah, no!

If you want a more comprehensive list of shit clothes, please go look at Romans.com. cause who doesn't want fat clothes modeled on standard size women?? That really helps us fat chicks have an idea of what the clothes look like on a bigger body!
You can also look at:
Target
Walmart
Simply Be
forever 21
Wet Seal
Kohl's
Lane Bryant
really anywhere that sells fat people clothes.


<End Snark>
Much love!
Raven

PS: If you like my blog, and want more Alternative Fats, And by that I mean more me! go here:
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PPS: Please go read the comments on this! there are more comments and great opinions: my post on LJ group

 Follow up post