After Holiday: Naughty List

Yes, I just blew all my x-mass bonus from work on what I really wanted for the holiday.. socks and clothes.
Oh how times have changed.
I remember when all I wanted was toys, movies and various tasty snacks for gifts.

the helladays

Happy almost whatever winter holiday..

I really dislike the whole holiday hell that follows thanksgiving Halloween.
I have since I was about 10. Mostly its all the people who normally durring the year when out shopping can be rude but it seems to increase 10x in the winter. Not a fan.
Plus it is almost impossible to avoid christmas music in stores.
I saved myself some shopping pain, and did 99% of my shopping on amazon (with prime).

This year I have also been graced with a magical chest/sinus cold. It's special.
I have cement in my nose and gunk in my chest. A lovely raspy voice and interesting colored mucus.
Yes, I am just bursting at the seams with holiday cheer.

So much, and so little.

Oh dear readers I have been gone too long..
Yes, like every time I disappear for a long time this will be a brief recap of my adventures.

I went to a renaissance fare, got drunk and made an ass out of myself. Lucky for me I was with friends who find me adorable, even if I am being a drunken ass.

I was very proud of myself, for making my Husband and entire costume in two days!
I made brown linen drawstring pants (hand stitched gussets), a gauze shirt, faux leather long vest (also with hand stitched elements), a muffin hat and a satchel... all while working my full time new job.

And that brings us to my other news, and why I haven't been writing.
I got a job. I was suppose to be a bookkeeper but some how ended up as more of a receptionist..
The hours are difficult for me as I have to wake up at 6am. Not something I would ever want to do but where I live traffic sucks. If I dont wake up and get ready and leave the house no later than 7, I don't make it to work by 8am. Yes, my commute of a whopping 15 miles (on the freeway) takes an hour. On the way home normally an hour and 45 minutes. Unless it's friday then it takes far longer, BLEH.

I get home and thats all she wrote! I might have enough brain capacity to make dinner, but sadly I lack the time or desire to write. After all bed time is now a very late 10pm for me.

and that my dears is the long short of it.
I will try to write on weekends if i find the time. or you know get fired..

tired kisses,

Raven

Fall dress explosion!

(this is a personal opinion: I have not been offered anything to give this opinion. This message is not sponsored in any way shape or form. But if Any of these places wants to throw some plus size stuff my way, I won't say no.. just saying!)

WANT!

http://www.kristinmiles.com

Eshakti :

 Everything is soooo green!

ASOS curve:

Shut up i would so rock this dress with my tool belt and look awesome!

I swing between loving this dress and not being sure about it.. 

Classy lady dresses

Want so bad I can taste it!

La la la la I can't hear you (yeah I have a thing for pinafore dresses)

Simplybe.com

 And all dark and pretty! 

Kisses!
Raven

Crap fat clothes.. For fall

:: a note for the "nice police", I get that some people will like some/part/all of the clothing I have chosen to write in a sarcastic manner about. That's fine you can like the clothes. But I don't. I am in no way criticizing you or your fashion choices. I am simply stating my opinion about these items. Don't agree? peachy. don't like this post? Read something from before, or come back for my next one. I will delve deeper into my dislike for what clothing offerings get given to us fat people. And why I write sarcastically about clothing::


When I typed the title for this blog it auto corrected fall to fail.. Seems my internet is starting to think like me!

So this Is going to be a photo heavy post of just a few of the more sad things I have found for fall clothing for fat people.. I didn't have to go far to find sad examples of shit choices.. This isn't even the tip of the iceberg.

Lets start this with a trip to ASOS:
I do like some/most? of their clothing so don't get me wrong. But some of their style choices confuse the crap out of me.
Lets see how far the pendulum swings shall we?

Don't mind me I just have some serious shoulder studs to keep the pigeons off.

And then you get something cute like this dress:

or you get this..

Cause a "cold shoulder plaid shirt dress" is all the rage
I love looking like I fell out of bed in the morning, after being ravaged by wolves..

Anyone else feel like we are in high school gym class??
Class it up with some heels.. who wants to run the mile??

Wow we hit normal, well made and can work on a variety of bodies.. 

Only to fall into the pit of leather sausage casings. 
The elastic back totally sells this look. I love having saggy weird looking butt.

.
 Look Ma! You too cam wear your sweats as overalls! 
The no back pocket thing will make your ass look big and lumpy, and the camel toe will be epic but whatever.. Fatshion!

OOO new this season, after the success of the grey sack, we have the floral option. Still no back pockets, but the new pattern helps mask the camel toe.

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Our next stop takes us to:  Old Navy. Where they have almost completely given up proper sizing, construction, fit, style and fabric choices.

I can't tell who is wearing the potato sack of a dress worse; 

the poor girl in the photo or the headless plastic mannequin?? 

 Look potato sack now comes in a print!

Seriously old navy, step up your game just a little! Great that you carry a variety of sizes (whether intentional or not so) But I would love to see better construction, and less sack. Thanks!

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Ahh our last stop on the snark train is: Horrid Torrid.

hideous lace, or eyelet tap shorts anyone?  Come on you know you want to dress like Nana on her cruise!

How about a matching floral jacket and top? 'Cause nothing is better camouflage, than big floral print on a fat girl.  

It looks like this print is going to be big with the teenage middle management set! "Oh my god; I'm like such an adult!" (this would look smashing with the shorts above)

How about the jacket equivalent of a mullet only reversed? 

Business in the back (tailored, nice clean cut).
Fuckin' Party in the front! Badly cut, no semblance of tailoring, studs/sequins, off center zipper.
looking at this makes me feel like I'm  coming off a black out drunk.

Speaking of blackout drunk;
Whose idea was it to do band shirts for teenagers (of bands they don't listen to?)

I'll give you a maybe, to Sublime. like if their older brother/uncle/aunt is 26-45, then maybe they know who Sublime was. And they have listened to: "You know that one cd with the tattoo on it". 

The Grateful Dead: I have serious doubts about. For the sake of argument, I will also give you a maybe. They might listen to the Dead.  

But Rush?!? Really?? Have you ever seen how empty a women's bathroom is at a Rush concert?? Not to mention the average age of a Rush fan. Do not even try to convince me that the market demographic of Torrid listens to Rush. It just isn't likely at all! 

"Geddy Lee? Who Is she?"  

Yeah, no!

If you want a more comprehensive list of shit clothes, please go look at Romans.com. cause who doesn't want fat clothes modeled on standard size women?? That really helps us fat chicks have an idea of what the clothes look like on a bigger body!
You can also look at:
Target
Walmart
Simply Be
forever 21
Wet Seal
Kohl's
Lane Bryant
really anywhere that sells fat people clothes.


<End Snark>
Much love!
Raven

PS: If you like my blog, and want more Alternative Fats, And by that I mean more me! go here:
facebook: Alternative Fats


PPS: Please go read the comments on this! there are more comments and great opinions: my post on LJ group

 Follow up post

alight.com review Q&A 2.5

In my last post, I had a reader ask me to review my experiences with alight.com .
This is just my opinion and experience. Alight.com has not offered me anything to give my opinion. (however if they want to kick down a gift card or something I wouldn't say no)
If someone who reads this has any of these dresses, and they are in good condition, in a 3x or 4x, 24 or 26, please hit me up!

I own a sum total of three dresses from alight they are:

"Modern age dress" by: mlle gabrielle (2006?)

I adore this dress! its a very soft cotton. It has washed well and worn hard. I think I might have lost a button at some point. but that was my fault not the dress. i would really like to see this style come back. At the time I bought this dress there were two others that had a similar cut to them. But since the dress was like $50 I couldn't afford them too. I will include the photos so you can drool too.

old fashion orange dress

hue bet

This is my power dress! It was called "the big time dress" by sele

I can't express how well this dress has lasted. It looks just as good as the day I received it.

And I wear this dress a lot! I wash it and hang it to dry. This dress was purchased in 2008 I believe.

Now I own this Blue plate dress (4x) in a different color, that I then dyed purple-ish. 

but I thrifted it. therefore I did not got it directly from alight

It too seems well made. Also cotton, and very soft. almost gauzy.

So my review is this:

The clothing I have, are all very well constructed! 

They wash and wear just fine. So durable, yes!

Sizing: it depends on the brand (like all clothing). But I would say the sizing is fairly consistent. I can wear anywhere from a 3x up to a size 28. 

Alight provides the measurements for a 1x in most items, rule of thumb is to increase each size by about two inches (example: 1x has a 42 bust, a 2x would have a 44 bust.. and so on.)

They also have brand specific size information. This is very helpful!

Only down side: is the price of the clothing. 

I however feel that the quality of the clothing is fair to the price they charge. It's a toss up.

I hope this was helpful! 

Raven

PS: if my readers have any more questions, things they want me to review, or topics they would like me to cover; Please leave a comment. Or you can email me directly.