vintage dress jackpot!

Yesterday started off with a huge bang! I got a bunch of the vintage dresses I ordered in my fit on vintage weakness two weeks ago. Yes the arrived safe and sound on the door step much to my pleasure.
 I haven't had the chance to get photos of me in them yet so you will have to suffer through photos of them on hangers!

This is navy blue and awesome! Look at the red piping and adorable red buttons! Talk about your hem pattern love. I can't believe this still had tags on it. seriously! Super added bonus: it has pockets! I love any dress with pockets. Oh and the straps are adjustable, how special is that!

This is a hand made dress, in purple gingham. I spent two hours yesterday hand bleaching this vintage house dress back to its normal intended color. If your a vintage clothing person you may know how some people didn't care for their clothes as much as others. this one was dingy yellow on top due to wear. after a round of washing I then took Q-tips dipped in bleach to the damp fabric. The dress came back to life!

Did you catch the cream pleat lines on this baby?  what about the cute button accents on the shoulder? This is a black crape dream! Light weight but all classy. I really like the way the dress hangs on me too! stunning. has a 40's feel to it.

Ahh the classic wrap dress.
If you don't own one, you darn well should! Go get one now!

This lovely has a neat white pattern on it that reminds me of dandelions. Again a nice light summer weight dress.
I'm going to need to alter the collar and facing since they don't want to stay where they belong. Other than that this dress is mint.

Copper colored heaven!
I dig this dress on so many levels. Nice fabric, and the neck accent is so different.  My guy says the color is great on me that I don't look so pale (if that is even possible).
Comes to a nice tea length on me, but I'm short so not too difficult.

I call this the lil green house dress.
Hand made. Button front with pockets, what more could I ask for. Sadly this one needs some mending. and it doesn't fit my chest properly. So I'm going to fix it up and figure out what to do with it later.












Well thats just a few of the dresses I bought. More still haven't showed up yet, but once they do i'll be sure to show them off too. Of the batch of dresses I just got, I love the navy blue floral one best! I know I will be wearing that one a whole lot from now on.


Kisses!
Raven

In the news

Yesterday Blogger was down so I didn't get a chance to write about two "fat in the news" articles I read.


Article one was about how Chelsea Handler is fat bashing Kirstie Alley. It got my dander up, aren't we all adults? Must we be mean and petty and pick on one another? Is it really necessary to use her weight as the target when there are other things to say something about. *cough* scientology *cough *
I'm curious why Chelsea Handler feels Kirstie is a threat to her, enough so that she needs to make jabs at Kirstie? I get that as women we are catty and fucked up to one another on the age old basis of: other women = competition, but really this is stupid. 
I remember a few years ago cosmo or glamor magazine wrote some nasty tid bit about Kirstie Alley and her weight; in return I sent them and email scolding them for being play ground bullies vs. a fashion magazine for the brain dead masses. That aside I think it just goes to show how far the whole "size issue" really is the last form of acceptable discrimination. It's not just in everyday privet life, but in the mass media as well. Yes make a fat joke get a laugh, har har, GROW UP!


Second Story is the same thing only less celebrities (sort of), This is about yet another miss step by Southwest Airlines kicking someone fat off a flight, and publicly humiliating them to boot.. Tiggeman T.F.T.F. southwest. When will this airline do the right thing and teach their gate staff not to be total dicks?! This poor woman and her mother were made to feel less than human. It is beyond wrong what southwest did, and how they handled the situation makes me want to puke.
The Article sites Director Kevin Smith's similar issue that happened last year (there is your celebrity connection) Who coined the phrase 'Tf Tf' in his later Smod cast on the issue. You would think that after all the negative press southwest keeps getting over this, they would learn that the media eats these stories up. Being that I travel a whole lot I am always scared that I too will get kicked off a flight for my chubby butt. I am lucky though most of the time it has never been an issue. 


However once when I was flying to L.A. I had a man sitting next to me whom treated me like I had the plague due to my size (odd as I was only about a size 20 back when this happened). I had taken my assigned seat, put my head phones on but didn't have my CD player on yet, had my book open on my lap and was starting to read; this man walks up looks at me makes an exasperated sigh then sits down to let other passengers by to take their seats.(Now i fit perfectly in my seat no problem with room to spare) I'm going to guess he figured I had music playing and couldn't hear him, because soon as a flight attendant walked near us he flagged her down and asked to be reseated, "I don't want to sit next to someone who might encroach on my space, can you find me a different seat?" The flight attendant glanced at me, shrugged he shoulders and said that they were about to push back so he would have to wait. He seemed flustered but nodded at her. After a few moments the last of the passengers were on the plane, the captain came over the speaker system saying because the flight wasn't very full that we had a weight balance issue, so if people would like to find other seats further back in the plane please do so now to we can take off with better weight distribution. I have never seen anyone get up and move away from me so fast in my life! The man for up and almost sprinted away from me. Clearly this had a lasting impression, lucky for me I'm not sure many people over heard the conversation. Despite that it hurt me anyway.


All I can say to both of these stories is if you a bigger person: Do not let others police your body. Do not simply let people think it is okay to treat you badly based on nothing more than your size. Bullies come in all shapes, sizes and ages. Being big does not mean you don't have the same rights as everyone else! Stand up for your self and your dignity when faced with bad treatment, no matter the situation. And if all else fails talk about it with the right people, and you can show the world what assholes the people who treat you like crap really are.


Fight!!
Raven

It's an addiction I swear!

Oh I have been a naughty naughty girl! I just went on a vintage dress buying binge.

I know, so horrible of me. I've been trying to keep to just buying vintage patterns and making my own dresses.. but with yesterdays epic fail on the transfer paper front, I needed to do something to distract me. And I freely admit I was weak and went to the internets to look at vintage patterns... and wouldn't you know it you search for vintage dress xxl and you get more than just patterns..

Yeah I found 3 dresses that I bought. I did however contain myself enough that I didn't buy the other 30 or so dresses I saw that were also drool worthy! So yay for the small victory. I also kept my spending under $80, a miracle all on its own. I'll also justify this relapse in vintage wear buying, by saying two of the dresses were hand made.

The internets is an evil place full of fabulous vintage clothing... I can't help myself. *hangs head in shame; but mostly to hide the smirk*

What did I do before google? I swear that search is the best/worst thing to happen to my vintage addiction.
On the good side I find new cool places to shop on a regular basis, this round I'm happy to say Hatfeathers vintage now rocks my socks. very cool site indeed, what with the fat girl love. Follow them on facebook to keep up to date with their wears!
secondly: old-clothes.com is on killer site! super fat girl love on the sizes, i'm gushing with all kinds of vintage warm fuzzies.
thirdly: that girl vintage boutique, again with they chub fashions ala vintage. and good prices too! My fall backs are always Ebay and Etsy. but it's nice finding smaller places who have good stuff.

You know you want to see the dresses once they get here don't lie!
Well i'm off to detox for a few hours away from the sway of vintage clothing.

Kisses!
Raven

Shopping and the feeling you don't belong.

This Sunday I braved a local mall to help a chick friend of mine find structure undergarments. In fat girl speak we were looking for the all popular spanx, the things you wear over your undies and under a dress to suck you in and look slimier.

My friend is between sizes (12-14) so we had the opportunity to go to a few normal size stores so she could look for things. While in a Jcpenny's intimate apparel department looking at different choices I noticed a whole rack of these suction garments labeled under the name "no fat shopping". I wish the camera on my phone worked so I could show you the tag.
I almost screamed in frustration at the stupid marketing that stores seem to have. Like these magical things will somehow constrict you body so far it will appear there is no fat on you. PLEASE! I was seriously offended.
I am all for wanting clothes to hang properly and look their best on me, but to go so far as what that tag said is just shameful.

Since we didn't find exactly what she was looking for at penny's we wandered back in to the mall. Naturally  torrid whom had the real brand of spanx. She found a pair that fit her and was happy with the way it looked under the dress she is wearing to a friends wedding.
While I do have issues with Torrid for their lack of style options, the bad quality of the clothes they offer at the  high prices they charge; I will say that the staff they hire is always very helpful and polite. In an age where customer service seems to be falling by the way side, it is refreshing to see one store doing right by its customers.

This brings me to my friends hunt for a bra.. She didn't realize she could have looked at torrid since they carry her size (38c), we went to Fredrick's of hollywood. Talk about rude service! They told her that they don't carry her size (cause magically 38C isn't a normal size?)  and would help her look through the racks to confirm this (she buys bras from the store normally so she knew they were full of crap). I did however look and found her several options. Nothing but lazy rude service all they way. At least she didn't get told she has to shop at their online store to purchase their goods, like I have been told in the past.

I find going to the mall to be exhausting mentally. I don't like the treatment I get in most stores, even if I'm just there with a friend. I know the sales people are trying to figure out how to tell me they don't carry my size (this really did happen in H&M; Was waiting for a friend to try clothes on, browsing the racks for more things for her. I had and employee come tell me that the arm full of things I had wouldn't fit me. Like no shit I don't wear a size large, they aren't for me! I really wanted to ask why they don't carry they BIB line that europe has; but then I remembered that this sales person is but a peon.)

As my friend and I left the mall she was telling me how she receives horrible service every time she goes to buy bras, no matter what store she goes into. She says she is getting a complex about her size; It wasn't helpful but I couldn't help but laugh, since I'm about 10 sizes bigger than her.

All I got to say is if your going to work retail, remember that the customer is who put money in your pay check. Don't discriminate against a person, because you don't think they belong in your store. Bottom line nicer you are to me the more likely I'll be spending money at your store. And you piss off one fat girl you piss off a lot of us. 'cause us fatties, yeah we all talk to one another.

Kisses!
Raven

Happy International No Diet Day!

Ahh yes lets all celebrate not buying in to the whole diet horror!

For those of my readers who might not ever been on a diet, lucky you! And now to the rest of us who have suffered through, bad food, hunger, and all the nasty yo yo weight fluctuations; a hearty WOO HOO!

I have a firm belief that diets are the worst things you can do to your body. Hunger is not the key to being healthy nor to loosing weight.

The diet industry is just that in industry, it is a faceless monster, money hungry before all else.. Sadly it's one that really kills people.
I don't know the exact numbers of people who have died to be thin but the numbers are too large for my comfort. The Idea of being able to not just restrict what you eat and exercise, but pop a pill and be loose weight is a lie. One that too many people rush off to do. A last ditch effort to conform to what society says you need to look like. Oh and not all of those magic pills haven't been tested to work or be safe.

Then there is the medical 'weight loss miracle' of lap band and gastric bypass. More lies and deaths. Now while These things do work for some people and have improved the quality of life for some; it isn't the cure it all for the mass overweight population. You might not see as much coverage of the people who have been failed by these things, but they are out there. Suffering more now than when they were simply just fat. Worse for wear after putting their bodies through a large medical procedure, and then the subsequent mental distress of not only a failed surgery but the way their medical professionals treat them. Told over and over again it must be something they are doing to make this procedure fail. Wrong on sooo many levels.

The Fact of the matter is not just the overweight are dying to be thin. There is a whole community of people who are already at a healthy weight who want to loose weight too. On the polar extreme of overweight you have people who believe its not enough to be 'skinny', these poor people believe that  being anorexic and bulimic are the answer. Huge communities of mostly young girls hating themselves and truly starving themselves to fit in and be smaller. Again the whole stigma of what it means to be fat scaring people in to starvation.

So today I celebrate not only not buying in to the whole diet lie, but how much I love my own body that I don't want or need these things to be a complete, or valuable person.

I'm gonna go sew a dress and be happy with who I am.

I vow never to let society tell me how I should look, that I am not worthy of things just because of my size, I refuse to let doctors treat me like an inferior person because they can't look past my BMI, I will not let men or women's judgements of me stop me from living and loving others, I will also look people in the eye when they bully me or others due to our size and tell them they are not only rude but closed minded bigots. But most of all I vow to never self hate.

Feel good about yourself and what you do with your body. don't let someone else tell you what is right for you, or how you need to be!

Love and kisses,
Raven

The Size Game

I was reading another blog that mentioned this article: fat guy privileges , And It got me thinking a bit about how men see women vs. how women see men. Now while I don't agree with the overall tone of the writers prospective, I have to say the bit about athletes and how they are seen by the public vs say an overweight woman got me a tad annoyed.

This isn't the first time I thought about this, all the way back in middle school I noticed how it was Ok for a guy to be bigger and the girls didn't seem to care; but if a girl was bigger we were kryptonite to the male population. It is interesting to look back and think on how many of my male friends got made fun of for just being friends with me back in high school. The comments from their other male friends (whom might not have known me) were never ending, some to the point I lost friends due to the pressures they felt just by being seen with me.

It all comes down to how the outside population sees people. Attraction is more than just a visual thing for women, we tend to want a guy we can relate to, have fun with, trust and feel safe with. Men on the the other hand a visual creatures they need to like the look of something before they move on to the other qualities they want in a mate. This of corse bring in the media and how the portray the feminine form, and what is an 'acceptable' form. Women have similar media thrown at us trying to skew our prospectives, however most women don't look at a guy trying to see if his BMI is in the acceptable range. We can like the muscular beef cake look just fine but we aren't so swayed by it that we ignore the regular guy as well.

Seems men tent to be less likely to have a doctor tell them that their weight is an issue. Women however if even slightly in the 'obese' section will hear a never ending lecture from our doctors. This could be because women see more types of doctors than men on a regular basis, thus all of them need to comment.

Not to say bigger men don't get their share of nasty comments in general. It just seems to be done in a different way. The men I have dated for the most part, have all been bigger guys height and size wise. All of them seem to be able to navigate the world both with greater ease and comfort in the public eye. The men I dated have all had a horror story or two from when they were growing up and being teased at school for their size, but most of that all ends after high school. I have rarely heard of similar treatment through college or beyond. If the male in question was involved in sports, regardless of his size comments were almost never negative in nature. Maybe it's also that men don't take stuff as personally as women do. Men are expected to have a better sense of humor about their size, wether they do or not is a case by case thing.

Women also don't exclude bigger guys from out dating pool the way men seem to want to reject a woman based on size alone. You only have to look on any dating site, and read through a man's preference of personal likes to see how many men state clearly that the don't want a bigger woman. It's an odd thing, since as far as I can tell few if any women put that same restriction out front so blatantly about the men we will interact with.

It is all a load of hooey. I personally have fragmented thoughts on how bigger guys are treated in the public  versus women; but that doesn't make the male struggle any less in my eyes. It is all an off shoot of the same discrimination that all fat people receive. The stereo type we are all given doesn't have a gender specific title. Sadly the rest of the population (including larger men) puts a higher negative value on big women.

Raven