The Size Game

I was reading another blog that mentioned this article: fat guy privileges , And It got me thinking a bit about how men see women vs. how women see men. Now while I don't agree with the overall tone of the writers prospective, I have to say the bit about athletes and how they are seen by the public vs say an overweight woman got me a tad annoyed.

This isn't the first time I thought about this, all the way back in middle school I noticed how it was Ok for a guy to be bigger and the girls didn't seem to care; but if a girl was bigger we were kryptonite to the male population. It is interesting to look back and think on how many of my male friends got made fun of for just being friends with me back in high school. The comments from their other male friends (whom might not have known me) were never ending, some to the point I lost friends due to the pressures they felt just by being seen with me.

It all comes down to how the outside population sees people. Attraction is more than just a visual thing for women, we tend to want a guy we can relate to, have fun with, trust and feel safe with. Men on the the other hand a visual creatures they need to like the look of something before they move on to the other qualities they want in a mate. This of corse bring in the media and how the portray the feminine form, and what is an 'acceptable' form. Women have similar media thrown at us trying to skew our prospectives, however most women don't look at a guy trying to see if his BMI is in the acceptable range. We can like the muscular beef cake look just fine but we aren't so swayed by it that we ignore the regular guy as well.

Seems men tent to be less likely to have a doctor tell them that their weight is an issue. Women however if even slightly in the 'obese' section will hear a never ending lecture from our doctors. This could be because women see more types of doctors than men on a regular basis, thus all of them need to comment.

Not to say bigger men don't get their share of nasty comments in general. It just seems to be done in a different way. The men I have dated for the most part, have all been bigger guys height and size wise. All of them seem to be able to navigate the world both with greater ease and comfort in the public eye. The men I dated have all had a horror story or two from when they were growing up and being teased at school for their size, but most of that all ends after high school. I have rarely heard of similar treatment through college or beyond. If the male in question was involved in sports, regardless of his size comments were almost never negative in nature. Maybe it's also that men don't take stuff as personally as women do. Men are expected to have a better sense of humor about their size, wether they do or not is a case by case thing.

Women also don't exclude bigger guys from out dating pool the way men seem to want to reject a woman based on size alone. You only have to look on any dating site, and read through a man's preference of personal likes to see how many men state clearly that the don't want a bigger woman. It's an odd thing, since as far as I can tell few if any women put that same restriction out front so blatantly about the men we will interact with.

It is all a load of hooey. I personally have fragmented thoughts on how bigger guys are treated in the public  versus women; but that doesn't make the male struggle any less in my eyes. It is all an off shoot of the same discrimination that all fat people receive. The stereo type we are all given doesn't have a gender specific title. Sadly the rest of the population (including larger men) puts a higher negative value on big women.

Raven